13 Gods of Bass fishing

[1/4 stick]

I found this in some old emails while cleaning out my email, Thought I'd share.


13 Gods of Bass Fishing

TOTGA - The One That Got Away. Simply put, the head mudda who art in
charge - the chief fishing god. If TOTGA is happy, you can catch fish.
If TOTGA isn't happy, golf makes more sense.

WETEO - Works Every Time Except Outdoors. This is the sucker who screws with your electrical and electronic stuff. Remember one thing with WETEO, his actions are directly proportional to your need of the electrical
stuff. In other words, if your life depends on it, this sucker will zap it.

ILGOTT - It Looks Good On The Trailer. ILGOTT is the male bass boat god.
He's the one who backs out screws, bangs boats into docks, and helps knock off the top of sand bars with your brand new stainless steel prop.
Besides sandbars, he's also fond of submerged logs.

AMLIM - Any Money Left Is Mine. AMLIM is the female bass boat god (I
thought she was a goddess, but some claim she is an old David Bowie
fan). After ILGOTT does his thing, AMLIN causes the repair prices to be
just higher than you can afford.

IRBITS - I'd Rather Be In The Shop. Bass boat trailers have their own
personality. For simple vehicles, they certainly have their share of
failure modes - enough of them to justify a special god.

AGUMP - Ain't Given Up My Spot. AGUMP is the god of bank fishing, one of
the lesser gods.

AGHAST - A Good Hauling And Show Truck. One half of a god with a split
personality. This half recognizes you can sometimes get to the lake with
no problems.

IWAFT - It Was A Fine Truck. The other half, the more familiar half, the
nasty half of the truck god who likes to see you on the side of the road
watching the jetskis beat you to the lake.

ABLYSS - Aqua Becoming Like Your Soiled Shorts. This is the PG-13 version of the god who changes clear water to green, yellow, brown or red; or if you've really been bad, to ink black.

SEACOW - Should Expect A Change of Weather. Probably the second most
powerful god behind TOTGA. This is the guy who schedules all the bad
weather crap for the one day you can go fishing.

DECAL - Defacing Emblems Can Aggravate Lords. The jury is still out on
this sucker, who was conjured up just because I have a non-descript
bassboat. From what I've been able to figure out, his only power is to
stick more decals on your boat when you're asleep. I found two more of
them this morning, but they're gone now. If this guy can get the big
motor decal back on, I'll vote to move him up on the list.