Goodbye Friend

[CMorg]

I am not looking for any pitty or feel sorry for me business. I just feel the need to get alittle of this off my chest and hopefully make others aware of this issue.

My best friend of 15+ years took his own life on 11/1/2010. I did all I could do to make him feel wanted by me , and my family ( he was wanted by us all ) My daughter loved him , my stepson loved him , he was a great guy , even trick or treated with us halloween night , carried my daughter like she was his for awhile. He was going threw a bad time in his life , I knew he was in trouble and did about everything I could think of at the time. He knew he needed help as he had been seeing a head doctor and was put on meds , that seemed to be helping. Then , he lost his job ( as a result of his problems , which were not work related ) I guess that was the straw that broke the camels back. I missed his phone call at 11am , and tried to call back 2 times until I got word at 5pm. I wish I would have answered that call. I dont know why it had to come to this. I will always have this regret. I introduced him to fishing , and had went with him numerous times the last 4 months. He talked of joing the bass club I am in as a nonboating partner with me. He really seemed to enjoy fishing. I just want everyone to know to please watch for signs , and dont hesitate to seek help for someone. I didnt know I wouldnt be able to talk to him about the job situation , I figured we would talk that night. The pain that comes from this unbelievable. I feel like I got punched in the gut for the last two days. Guys if any of you ever think about doing this to yourself , please dont. People do care for you , it really hurts others , even the ones you are not trying to hurt.