Your Duck is dead

Captmikestarrett · 07-20-12, 12:08 PM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the
table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill,
which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
it's now $150."

Capt Mike

bassboogieman · 07-20-12, 03:39 PM

Not THAT is FUNNY.

bamabassman · 07-20-12, 05:32 PM

goodun!! lol!

Bassboss · 07-20-12, 08:45 PM

Heard that joke a LONNGG time ago from since passed grandpa, could never remember how it ended though! Thanks!

Great joke.

USMCbassman · 07-21-12, 12:03 PM

LOL...Good one Skipper!

joedog · 07-21-12, 03:15 PM

I really enjoy a good joke.....and I really enjoyed that one.
Thanks Capt.

keithdog · 07-21-12, 04:59 PM

hahaha, thats a good one!

Abbeysdad · 07-22-12, 01:11 PM

lolololololol

good 'un capt.

btw, how's that purina diet doin?

hahaha

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07-20-12, 12:08 PM	#1
Captmikestarrett BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: May 2006 Location: Accokeek MD Posts: 3,315	Your Duck is dead A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150." Capt Mike __________________ Capt Mike Starrett light tackle guide Potomac River http://www.indianheadcharters.com

07-20-12, 05:32 PM	#3
bamabassman BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cedar bluff, alabama Posts: 15,292	goodun!! lol! __________________ so many lures, so little time.

07-20-12, 08:45 PM	#4
Bassboss BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Shawano, WI Posts: 7,761	Heard that joke a LONNGG time ago from since passed grandpa, could never remember how it ended though! Thanks! Great joke. __________________ If you can't fix it with heavy squats or fish oil, you're probably going to die.

07-21-12, 03:15 PM	#6
joedog BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: JANESVILLE,WI. 53545 Posts: 3,415	I really enjoy a good joke.....and I really enjoyed that one. Thanks Capt. __________________ "Fishing isn't life or death... it's more important than that."

07-20-12, 03:39 PM	#2
bassboogieman BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Parkesburg, Pa. Posts: 3,762	Not THAT is FUNNY.

07-21-12, 12:03 PM	#5
USMCbassman BassFishin.Com Veteran Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Oceanside, CA Posts: 532	LOL...Good one Skipper!

07-21-12, 04:59 PM	#7
keithdog BassFishin.Com Premier Elite Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: IN Posts: 8,308	hahaha, thats a good one! __________________ Just one more cast, and then some!

07-22-12, 01:11 PM	#8
Abbeysdad BassFishin.Com Super Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Central NY - Finger Lakes Posts: 1,307	lolololololol good 'un capt. btw, how's that purina diet doin? hahaha __________________ Fish now, work later

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