So my wife says she needs her hair done every week…

[fish4942]

This is going to be a $35 a week “expense” / “bill” as she would call it. Basically she feels her hair appointments should be grouped in with other expenses such as the car payment, house payment, utility bills, etc.

Mmmmm….so I wouldn’t be wrong to if I added my own “expense” / “bill” would I? Say, for example purposes only, a weekly or bi-weekly trip to Bass Pro Shop, Cabela’s, Dicks Sporting Goods, etc. I would stay within the $30-$40 range…on most trips. Every now and then I could skip a week or 2, save that money up and then make one big purchase on the next trip.

Now be honest fellas and ladies, am I being facetious or is this only fair? I mean honestly, I probably wouldn’t go that often. You gotta figure on 1 trip I’d pick up several lures and probably spend more time learning how to fish them and getting my technique down than I would return trips to the store. But when I decide to go I shouldn’t worry about it being an unplanned expense. I’d be responsible. I would go buy a boat or nothing like that. Just some tackle to make sure I got what I need when I’m out on the water.

Yeah or Nay?

[WaffleJaw]

my wife is a hair stylist and master colorist...when she's not at the saloon,she does family and friends hair at the house for half the cost....anyway,i was completely shocked how often her sisters would ''need'' thier hair done...about every 9 or so days...when they would show up to the house they dont look any different then when they last got it cut....i dont get it....but i think its a little excessive to spend 40ish a week on a hair cut....that sounds like a want and not a need.....so yea,i say your in the clear to make a small purchase ever so often on tackle.....just make sure once a week you compliment her hair to keep her happy..

[cassidyta]

I would say that this is a danger zone for you. I think that you need to sell your point by putting it on even ground. To your wife, this is not just a money issue, it has more to do with her own self confidence and how she views herself as a person. She wants/needs her hair done to feel good about herself. You need to be able to sell the point on how fishing makes you feel about yourself. How it adds to your own level of confidence. Heck, bring how much more fishing makes you feel like a man.
If you try to make it only about the money and fairness, you are likely to come across as an uncaring jerk who is only looking at the bottom line rather than your wife's feelings.

[MississippiBoy]

So your wife thinks that hair appointments are as important as your mortgage payments or electric bill? I don't know you or your wife, and this may come off as mean, and if it does, I apologize, but here's my opinion...if she is that self-centered, she won't see your side of the argument. She'll have all kinds of reasons why HER expenditures are necessary and legitimate, and yours aren't. You might be able to refute every single one of her reasons with common sense and logic, but she won't hear you. She'll just think that you're trying to compare her NEEDS with your WANTS, and she'll resent you for it.
I'm not saying you need to tell her "No, you can't go to the stylist." I'm saying to budget legitimate NEEDS first, and list all the fishing gear, hair appointments, nights out at the movies, etc. into the WANT column. Get the NEEDS taken care of first, like house, car, food, gas, and utilities, then start on the WANTS in order of most wanted to least wanted. Once you run out of money in the budget, stop there. Anything below that doesn't get done that month.
So, if her hair appointments are high enough on the WANT list, then no problem. However, if you two come up short one month, then they have to be left off.
That's my $.02...and my advice is probably worth exactly what you paid for it.

[fish4942]

Originally Posted by WaffleJaw

my wife is a hair stylist and master colorist...when she's not at the saloon,she does family and friends hair at the house for half the cost....anyway,i was completely shocked how often her sisters would ''need'' thier hair done...about every 9 or so days...when they would show up to the house they dont look any different then when they last got it cut....i dont get it....but i think its a little excessive to spend 40ish a week on a hair cut....that sounds like a want and not a need.....so yea,i say your in the clear to make a small purchase ever so often on tackle.....just make sure once a week you compliment her hair to keep her happy..

Good point. Maybe I’ll even suggest some different hair styles every now and again.

[sac]

I agree^ It think it could get ugly. I know I'd be in the dog house if I said anything like that LOL

Good Luck!

[WaffleJaw]

Originally Posted by cassidyta

I would say that this is a danger zone for you. I think that you need to sell your point by putting it on even ground. To your wife, this is not just a money issue, it has more to do with her own self confidence and how she views herself as a person. She wants/needs her hair done to feel good about herself. You need to be able to sell the point on how fishing makes you feel about yourself. How it adds to your own level of confidence. Heck, bring how much more fishing makes you feel like a man.
If you try to make it only about the money and fairness, you are likely to come across as an uncaring jerk who is only looking at the bottom line rather than your wife's feelings.

thats a better point of view......man,i suck at being a husband...hahaha.
''the female is a fragile creature......but pissing one off is like battling a grizzly bear on cocaine''

[Bassboss]

Yeah

Sounds fair to me!!! But the monkey knows no limits.... beware!

[nofearengineer]

Well, I can tell you from my experience with women, you are making a HUGE fundamental mistake. You are approaching this logically. Women don't debate. They argue. (Argument = Debate + Emotion - Logic)

Now before the three women who probably read this message board get all offended, you are already rare gems who like bass fishing, so conceivably inherited a couple other of the "mostly" male traits, such as reasoning and a sense of fairness.

These things inevitably come down to whether you like fishing more than you hate being celibate. It's just nature at work.

I almost married a woman who I would almost assuredly have had these problems with...but that boat in my garage says I passed that test.

[1/4 stick]

Originally Posted by cassidyta

I would say that this is a danger zone for you. I think that you need to sell your point by putting it on even ground. To your wife, this is not just a money issue, it has more to do with her own self confidence and how she views herself as a person. She wants/needs her hair done to feel good about herself. You need to be able to sell the point on how fishing makes you feel about yourself. How it adds to your own level of confidence. Heck, bring how much more fishing makes you feel like a man.
If you try to make it only about the money and fairness, you are likely to come across as an uncaring jerk who is only looking at the bottom line rather than your wife's feelings.

I agree.

But no matter what you do, you're going to get into this debate: "You're comparing me trying to look and feel better about myself for 'you' to you going fishing to make 'you' feel better?" And a "that's how the fight started" thread.

[Bob Smith]

Originally Posted by nofearengineer

Well, I can tell you from my experience with women, you are making a HUGE fundamental mistake. You are approaching this logically. Women don't debate. They argue. (Argument = Debate + Emotion - Logic)

Now before the three women who probably read this message board get all offended, you are already rare gems who like bass fishing, so conceivably inherited a couple other of the "mostly" male traits, such as reasoning and a sense of fairness.

These things inevitably come down to whether you like fishing more than you hate being celibate. It's just nature at work.

I almost married a woman who I would almost assuredly have had these problems with...but that boat in my garage says I passed that test.

You are indeed a man of GREAT WISDOM and obvious experience. One that I can identify with. The short version.., don't argue, debate, or complain. Those are futile efforts that cannot compare to zipped lip phenomenom. Ultimately, the wise man will wait patiently and then jump when that invariable 'soft moment' arises. After women grow used to getting what they "need" without complaints from the spouse they tend to weaken and get a soft moment every once in a while. Learn to recognize the trend and be ready with a "great deal" when the time is right!

[bamabassman]

hahahaha, sorry to sound like mississippiboy here. but i am sorry.......her HAIR is as important as the house payment? you are kidding with us right? com'on, say you're kidding.
my opion is about the same as mississippiboy's....BUT if she is dead set on having her hair done weekly, then by all means YOU are to have the same amount of money as she.
i for one do not argue with lisa about her hair. therefore she moans about mine (likes it a little longer in the back), but i tell her that i like hers blonde like when we married (she was a naturel blonde). so when one spends money on a certain thing, the other gets the same amount. no arguning whatsoever. for real. oh we argue about things all the time, but that is part of life and marriage.but i ain't gonna argue with her about her hair. it is HER hair. she doesn't argue about my fishing stuff. and now it has also become HER stuff too, hahahahaha. so there you go. whats hers is hers and what's yours is hers too.hahahahahahahaha.


now you understand women as much as you understood this right? that is the way it is.

[rodman rat]

OK Ladies point of view: What she is saying about "AS" important as house payment= she means it should be put in the budget just the same! ( if by chance she is saying it comes before the house payment at tight times send her to the shrink) Ok with clearification if this is what she means THEN yes she get 40/ you get 40 placed in budget as a bill meaning it will be there!

my .02

[Bob Smith]

Originally Posted by rodman rat

OK Ladies point of view: What she is saying about "AS" important as house payment= she means it should be put in the budget just the same! ( if by chance she is saying it comes before the house payment at tight times send her to the shrink) Ok with clearification if this is what she means THEN yes she get 40/ you get 40 placed in budget as a bill meaning it will be there!

my .02

You, my dear, are a very rare specimen!! lol! Your husband is very lucky indeed!

[rodman rat]

really Bob I just make it look good
"just between you and me" If he gets 40 and I get 40= monkey 80 (we both lose)

[Fishnngolfn]

You are on dangerous ground, sir. Tread lightly. Comparing your wife's need to look good to your need to fish is asking for trouble.
I'm glad I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff anymore.

[Jim80]

I would tread lightly on that man , just might be a land mine is hiding.

Jim

[bamabassman]

rodman rat....like ol bob said, you are a rare breed my lady. my wife used to get all upset when i would spend money on the monkey. but now.....hahahaha, she spends it too. and you are right 40 plus 40 equals to 80 for the monkey. makes him very happy indeed. hahahaha.

[BoyoBoyle]

Ugh... Im young and not married yet, but I have a girlfriend, and she does not like me fishing! But that is ridiculous.

She wants to spend 140-160$ on her hair every month?!?!?! Wow.... ok... I would tell her once a month... and any time she wants it done extra then you should have money to spend on yourself. Make it somewhat fair... 140-160 bucks?!?! Jeelaweez....

Oh... and dont say "fishing" stuff... start off with something women like and are fond of....like... clothes. tell her your gonna spend your money on stuff like clothes and other stuff. Go out and buy some nice new pants and shirts.... then some waders.... then a fishing vest... then a new rod, hahaha. ease her into it. don't be blunt and say "if you want your hair done, I need fishing stuff" she wont like that.

[Bubba_Bruiser]

[QUOTE=BoyoBoyle;262207]Ugh... Im young and not married yet, but I have a girlfriend, and she does not like me fishing! But that is ridiculous.

I HAD a girlfiriend like that one time. And I had to sit my wife down before we got married when she mentioned it. I tend to be the pacifist in the relationship, but I told her it was here long before her, and it would be here long after her. It is one of the few times I stood up for what I believed in, but it worked.

[bamabassman]

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, STOOD UP TO HER HUH BUBBA? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, aorry can't type for laughing. that is so funny man. "one of the few times i stood up for what i believed in." hahahahahahahaha.







COME ON BUBBA! STOP IT NOW!! that is so dang funny man.












and yes i too am whupped, hehehe.

[Bubba_Bruiser]

I choose my battles wisely Bama hahahahaha. Somethings are not worth it, my wife has French blood and a Napolean complex. But she is 5'8", so she packs a punch with it hahahaha.

[bamabassman]

hahaha, i married a german/dutch mix gal mself. talk about a PUNCH! hahahahaha.

[JB]

Originally Posted by bamabassman

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, STOOD UP TO HER HUH BUBBA? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, aorry can't type for laughing. that is so funny man. "one of the few times i stood up for what i believed in." hahahahahahahaha.







COME ON BUBBA! STOP IT NOW!! that is so dang funny man.












and yes i too am whupped, hehehe.

lol yea thats the way to do it.....

[bamabassman]

oooooooooohhhhhhhh jb you are SOOO gonna get it. lisa said you were WRONG for doing that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.