What Men Really Want

[JB]

1.More beer. More cheese. More sex.
2.Vitamin fortified cigars.
3.Public beer fountains.
4.Kitty catapults.
5.All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
6.Wet T-shirt Fridays.
7.Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
8.Rocket boots.
9.Machine gun camp.
10.NASA space shuttle races.
11.Sledgehammer boxing.
12.Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
13.Congressional pie fights.
14.Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
15.More beer. More cheese. More sex.
16.Tomahawk missile surf boards.
17.Hot tub jury boxes.
18.Nacho cheese lipstick.
19.Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
20.New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
21.24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
22.More beer. More cheese. More sex.
23.Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
24.Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
25.Beef jerky business cards.
26.Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
27.National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.
28.Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
29.Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
30.Karaoke "ejector" stages.
31.Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
32.The Astronaut Reserves.
33.Porno without all the "talking" filler.
34.Head banging elevated to "fine art".
35.All money spent on women tax deductible!
36.Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
37.Passports to Margaritaville.
38.The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.

[Rebbasser]

39. Missing work to go fishing is encouraged, with no loss of pay and it does not count as vacation.

I concur with everything else.

[HulaPopr]

The Girlfriend Remote.

[Rebbasser]

That'll work!

[zooker]

happy hour at hooter?? lmao

i concur with reb and add
40.no taxes on tackle...


zooker

[Dyas]

Hooters house call and getting a new boat that has a 52" widescreen with every channel that has ever been though of with a free beer and brat dispenser, 7 free rods of your choice, all the tackle you could ever imagine, and a spot for your cheerleaders when you pull up to the weigh-in.

[flfireman]

Very detailed list. Did you mention more beer, cheese and sex?? Buy one get three free on all items at BPS. IQ tests for gun owners. Ability to shoot unlawful citizens(oh wait, Im in Fl, can pretty much do that now). Will place order and hand deliver cash if the remote works. Free gas when towing a fishing boat or off road vehicle. Free topless car washes by cheerleaders w/ picture of fish at above mentioned gas stations.