Polly snores loud

[CarpMan]

polly snored to loud tonite and blowd all the cover off the bed an i cant slep. i put the cover back on her an she is stil snoren and tha covers are blowen like a flag in the wind' tha dogs on the next farm are barkun' the owlls are hooten and the nite animuls are all awake. i knowed if she rubed my fet befor we went to slep that she would git xsited an her hart would git tard and cause her to relax an slep to good an she wuld snore an keep ever thing and everbody up maken noise alnite...evertime she rubs my fet it hapens. one time elmer got us a trane tickut to go on vacatun fur to weks; i didnt want her to snore on the trane cuz we never been on a trane befor an we didnt want peple think we wuz hicks ere somethen like that' so i wouldnt let her go to slep' but she didnt kno that;;;' i wuz setten in tha chare in are cabin [thats what they caled are room] an she wuz on the top bed' an when i thot she wuz goin to slep i would ask her to go get me som water' an she would crol down off tha bed and take her litle cup and go get me a dink of water. this went on 3 times an she was bout to go to slep an i sade to my self' oh no you dont. go get me somor water' an a good woman she is' she went back the numbor 4 time to git me somore water' this time it took her a long time to come back, when she did come back' she handed me the empty cup' and i sade polly where is the water. she sade hony' they wuz a big fat woman settin on the well this time, an i couldnt git you eny water' an boy you knowed how i felt when she told me that.,, she has got still now, so im gone to sneke back in there and snugle in with her..i shor hope she dont snore nomore tonight.

[Dyas]

wel it ant as bad as mi aint Marcell. She farts to lowd and blowed de tent down durin the campin trip. the fysh dydnt byte good the rest of de weeek. i tink ssee killed em all er som'. Butt mi uncle Burl snors too lowd to thow. he almost scared the coons out of the trash the other dayy snorin like a freight train goin ful blast on a bed of nails.... Mis ucle Mac stinks to. i thikn thats a why he catches a lots of catsfishes. Dees dang ole yankee folk com down campin de other day and started playin what they call a harsmonica er somethin an my cousin Tate got owt there with the banjo n started playin sum jerry reed n then sum Bill Monroe.. Can you beleive this.. Larry da Cable Man went campin too n kooldnt understand a syngle wurd my aint Maise was sayin... Oh well... My aint Irene had a baby de other day. Made medical history n was de first baby two ever fall out of her butt durin burth... Uncle Martel was sooo prowd...

[PowerBass]

Jeez, these stories are funnier then all hell. Who ever it is you are funny!

[va_basser]

Originally Posted by CarpMan

polly snored to loud tonite and blowd all the cover off the bed an i cant slep. i put the cover back on her an she is stil snoren and tha covers are blowen like a flag in the wind' tha dogs on the next farm are barkun' the owlls are hooten and the nite animuls are all awake. i knowed if she rubed my fet befor we went to slep that she would git xsited an her hart would git tard and cause her to relax an slep to good an she wuld snore an keep ever thing and everbody up maken noise alnite...evertime she rubs my fet it hapens. one time elmer got us a trane tickut to go on vacatun fur to weks; i didnt want her to snore on the trane cuz we never been on a trane befor an we didnt want peple think we wuz hicks ere somethen like that' so i wouldnt let her go to slep' but she didnt kno that;;;' i wuz setten in tha chare in are cabin [thats what they caled are room] an she wuz on the top bed' an when i thot she wuz goin to slep i would ask her to go get me som water' an she would crol down off tha bed and take her litle cup and go get me a dink of water. this went on 3 times an she was bout to go to slep an i sade to my self' oh no you dont. go get me somor water' an a good woman she is' she went back the numbor 4 time to git me somore water' this time it took her a long time to come back, when she did come back' she handed me the empty cup' and i sade polly where is the water. she sade hony' they wuz a big fat woman settin on the well this time, an i couldnt git you eny water' an boy you knowed how i felt when she told me that.,, she has got still now, so im gone to sneke back in there and snugle in with her..i shor hope she dont snore nomore tonight.

dude you are one attention craving individual..no one can be this,well whatever he is.And if they were,they sure wouldnt be able to use a computer,let alone set it up.I feel sorry for Polly puttin up with his dumbass.Hey girl find a fella with an IQ

[CarpMan]

me an polly is gone carps fishen in lake smiff and lake whithurst today, an will you be are gide if we fish "back bay'' you sound like a rel nise guy.in fak i kno you a nice guy. you tha bass man me an polly knose 'youre aviatortar dont loke abit like you holden a big ole fish up' polly thot it wuz a big ole carp, she gets xsited evertime she sees a big ole carp. luken furward to seing you on are carp trip.. becky is gona put us a aviatortar pickture of her an her carp. so long va basser

[PowerBass]

Hey Carp Man,
Can ya post some pictures of the carp ya all catch?

[CarpMan]

timeout; timeout; timeout' elmer and becky sade me and polly have to laylow fur a while' ....elmer sade they wuz nothen rong with are ritten but one bassesr musta got offerended an mad. elmer and becky say we have to makit rite with him' we didnt mene to make basser mad and were sory if we made anybody angor ovur are ritten. all you all kno we dont rite dirty wurds or talk unnise to nobody' but polly cried when that basser feller called her man a dumb rectkum hole' just aint nise. we furgive him and want to invite him to are farm to take him carp fishen. all espenesis paid'' wer have fried rabit 2 tims a wek. coon on thursdays'' and carps kooked down by the pond on mondaiys. breckfist ' we heve biskits bakd with left over rabit grece browned on both sides. I kno you will have a good time with me and polly' ''' and basser you will git one free rub down whil youre at our farm. wil be a suprize to you ''dont bring youre fishen pole;; polly sade you could use her zebcoe.

[PowerBass]

Thats quite nice of ya Carp Man

[va_basser]

sure I'll guide ya on Back Bay..wait till summer when the snakes are good and thick though,the bass fishing's best when you have to cast between the cottonmouths.Oh and we'll fish my favorite cove where the snakes fall out of the trees and into the boat.Maybe you'll get a bite!!!
ps..dont waste your time on Smith and Whitehurst..no carp but plenty of cats

[PowerBass]

lol............