Me And Pollys Vacation

[CarpMan]

me anpolly jest got back from are only vacation trip evur, an we shore had a good time. Elmer sent us up north to the Clondike to visut some of are distance kin folk that wuz left over frum our grate unkle Clems side of the family that went up thur during the gold rush days. And I must say it wuz a vury inturesting trip . Lotta stuff happen up thur that dont happen down here. Tha peeple has a much diffurent life stile up thur . The futhur north you go tha more primitave peeple are. And they dont got all tha lectric necessicretrics that we have down here. And not vury many peeple live up there. They are nise, an thay treat peeple nise, but dont cross them ovur, cuz thay dont take no stuff frum nobody.. Him an Grizzey aks us to go to town with them. Cuz they only go into town once a year fur suplies..Now why he calls his wife Grizzy is a good kuestion.. Polly says its cuz she got in a fight with a Grizley bare. I aks Polly who won. She sade whos wearn tha coat? Well! when I seen hur put that big ole fur coat on, I knew who won tha fight. We all went into town on thur dog sleigh..Grizzy told us to jest stay low when we got in to town and she would take care of us .. Now, every town has its town Bully..And this one did to. This town bully saw us commen in, cuz he wus commen out of this place with his guns drawed. Grizzy stepped off the sleigh an that bully shot at her feet and ask her if she could dance.. An every time he would shoot, he would aks her to dance, an Grizzy would jump. But what he didnt knou wuz, that Grizzy wuz a counting, an when she got to six, she stopped counting, cuz she knoed he wuz out a bulets. So Grizzy reached back in her sleigh an pulled out a double barrell and stuck it rite under his nose, an sade " sur! did you evur kissed a dog? And he sade no mam!, but I have always wanted too. So after he kissed all them dogs fur Grizzy, she told him to git out a town, and he did..Grizzy aks us to go on in to the tavern an she would tie up the dogs, we did. And boy this place wuz loud an rough, me an Polly had nevur been in a place as wild as this before. All of a sudden, this little man come a runnen and a hollerin, and sade "Big Bad Burtha is commen! Big Bad Burtha is commen!", he sade she done run tha town bully away. And every thing inside got quite as a mouse. But it wasnt nobody but Ole Grizzy. And ole Grizzy walks in, and stomps up to the bar, and all them peeple scrambles out of her way. Tha man befind tha bar gives hur a drink, and she chugs it down, he gives hur another, an she chugs it down to, and anothur. Grizzy musta had 7 or 8 of them drinks reel fast. And every body jest stood quite. The bar man aks her if she wanted anothur one, and Ole Grizzy says no sur, I dont have time, cuz "Big Bad Burtha" is commen. She grabbed us and got us out of that place... So theres gotta be some body, somewhere in that Clondike place thats badder than Grizzy. I shore wuldnt want to see hur. I think thats whur Polly got some of hur tuffness, cuz Polly shore looks and aks like "Ole Griz". When we got back to tha cabin, you shulda seen Ole Grizzy an Polly strutten around in them carp stretchies, man that wuz a site to behold. Them two shore had a good time. We plan on goin back fur anothur visut, but next time we aint taken no trane, cuz tha trane water taste terbul. P.S Becky helped us to "sterilize" some of our wurds in this post

[PowerBass]

I thought Polly was a scared of snakes? How kin she be tuff when she skeered of snakes?

[CarpMan]

Originally Posted by PowerBass

I thought Polly was a scared of snakes? How kin she be tuff when she skeered of snakes?

Polly aint nevur been skeered of no snakes, you must have her kornfused with becky.

[striker23]

glad to hear about your adventure carpman. i was wondering, why dont ya call polly carpwoman since youre carpman that would only make sense.